I'm with April on this ... talking the situation out a bit (usually a little later when the emotional level has calmed down), apologizing and saying I won't do it again should clear the air.
I've learned, over the years, to basically let things go. Yes, I've been deeply wounded many times, and have found ways to allow that hurt to process, forgive it and not attach to it. No, I haven't necessarily always dealt with the other person on the issue, but I have dealt with myself and my feelings towards it. I don't necessarily forget the incident, but I do detach from the emotion of it so that I can heal and move on with life. Holding on to old wounds causes festering, resentment and many other negative emotions that, in the end, mostly hurt yourself.
Sue, you are so right!! But I do think sometimes it takes more than WORDS to put things right with me....like a hug or some other TANGIBLE way to show caring!!
You must have had a bad experience in the past to feel so violated. Perhaps you saw someone close to you hurt by a liar.
Forgiveness is not for the wrongdoer, it is for you to let go of your
damaging emotions. Learn your lesson, forgive and move on. It does
not mean you have to trust that person, trust is earned over time and
they will have to start over to earn it again if possible.
Comments
Actually, in GENUINE COMMUNICATION, wrongs require more than "I'm sorry."
We often need to talk it out a bit to foster the building and continuance of a relationship.
And may need to repair things.
As well as utter, "And I won't do it again." At least not overtly. Inadvertent errors is another thing.
All the best,
April BraswellRomance Coach, Online Dating Coach
I'm with April on this ... talking the situation out a bit (usually a little later when the emotional level has calmed down), apologizing and saying I won't do it again should clear the air.
I've learned, over the years, to basically let things go. Yes, I've been deeply wounded many times, and have found ways to allow that hurt to process, forgive it and not attach to it. No, I haven't necessarily always dealt with the other person on the issue, but I have dealt with myself and my feelings towards it. I don't necessarily forget the incident, but I do detach from the emotion of it so that I can heal and move on with life. Holding on to old wounds causes festering, resentment and many other negative emotions that, in the end, mostly hurt yourself.
Sue Crutcher, Life Empowerment Mentor
Sue, you are so right!! But I do think sometimes it takes more than WORDS to put things right with me....like a hug or some other TANGIBLE way to show caring!!
Sonya Lenzo
www.sonyamlenzo.com
Sonya
Thanks for being my personal commercial insurance agent and protecting my businesses.
www.kevinhogan.net
I would say being lied to. I don't often trust people after they lie to me...even if they say sorry.
Jenn
Wardrobe Planning Expert
Trust is critical in business and life!
John the mortgage guy
You know its true. I know its true. So why is it so often violated?!?
Both in business and in personal life?
Sonya Lenzo
www.sonyamlenzo.com
Forgiveness is not for the wrongdoer, it is for you to let go of your damaging emotions. Learn your lesson, forgive and move on. It does not mean you have to trust that person, trust is earned over time and they will have to start over to earn it again if possible.
DrPeter